Belly dancing was something that I’d always associated with frizzy haired Shakira. She was the delectable goddess and I - her devout-est disciple. She could contort her hips into impossibly seductive postures and I – umm…never mind. * Embarrassed grin * So, when I witnessed my FRIEND (why, oh why?) move exactly (oops, did I say exactly? I meant minutely, completely, insanely!) like the hippy (pun intended), lithe and petite singer, I (quite predictably) turned a particularly dark shade of green. Jealousy, my dear Mr and Ms Watsons!
I’ve been jumping, twisting and straining (ouch!) to shake my hips but they seem to be attached quite firmly to my legs and refuse to move of their own accord. (Are you listening God? Future humans need more elastic pelvises!)
Having suitably blamed my genes for my lack of hip shaking abilities, I’m quite content to watch Beyonce struggle to match Shakira’s capers in the Beautiful Liar video. Hang on, maybe she hasn’t heard of genes yet?
I’ve been jumping, twisting and straining (ouch!) to shake my hips but they seem to be attached quite firmly to my legs and refuse to move of their own accord. (Are you listening God? Future humans need more elastic pelvises!)
Having suitably blamed my genes for my lack of hip shaking abilities, I’m quite content to watch Beyonce struggle to match Shakira’s capers in the Beautiful Liar video. Hang on, maybe she hasn’t heard of genes yet?
***
Uh uh. Ever since all the scruffily clad blue-and-grey midgets (read boys) have started assembling testosterone in their bodies, they seem to be deeply interested in weird words like ‘kiss’ and ‘hug’ and whatever. *blush* Now, boys have always been interested in words like ‘kiss’ and ‘hug’. But they always sniggered suitably and appeared duly amused whenever the words were mentioned. Now, they seem to have grown drastically more serious. Now, dear readers, they actually want to do the damn things!
Blame the testosterone.
Usually, I’m pretty boy-tolerant but this freaks me out. Maybe I’m weird. No, I am definitely straight. Or maybe, you doubting moron, you’ve been watching too many cheesy romantic flicks. Yeah, that must be it!
Blame the testosterone.
Usually, I’m pretty boy-tolerant but this freaks me out. Maybe I’m weird. No, I am definitely straight. Or maybe, you doubting moron, you’ve been watching too many cheesy romantic flicks. Yeah, that must be it!
***
I really don’t understand the bizarre concept of love. You can like someone, kiss (hopefully!) the same someone and hook up with loads of someones. But, puhlease spare poor little someone from the embarrassment of your undying, eternal love. Dude, it doesn’t exist.
There’s a cute little story of how a 70 year old Chinese man lived with his 80 year old wife in the jungles of China. The couple was chucked outta the village because their relationship wasn’t acceptable to society (yeah…sounds like our awful movie melodrama huh?). It is rumored that the man carved more than 6000 steps (yeah right…three whole zeros!), over three decades (that’s thirty years!), from the cave he used to live in, to make it easier for his wife to climb down to the forest. Now, that is true love.
So, if all you six pack endowed wannabes can do that for your fluttering-today-dumped-tomorrow lady loves, I’ll admit, it’s real love (or as close as you can get!).
But since you can’t - dear god, where are the real hunks? * wails loudly *
I’m seriously considering going the lesbian route. Uh uh. Now that’s as true as chocolate mice or a two-headed pig. After all, what will Nadal do without me?
So, if all you six pack endowed wannabes can do that for your fluttering-today-dumped-tomorrow lady loves, I’ll admit, it’s real love (or as close as you can get!).
But since you can’t - dear god, where are the real hunks? * wails loudly *
I’m seriously considering going the lesbian route. Uh uh. Now that’s as true as chocolate mice or a two-headed pig. After all, what will Nadal do without me?
