Err…I’ve kinda been outta touch with mah blog for quite a while but (wide grin) when your mum gives you the old you’re-cuckoo-in-the-brain look, you scurry away and try to be as inconspicuous as a mouse in your mum’s oh-so-clean kitchen.
Since I’ve just landed plonk in the middle of oh-so-scorching Mumbai after ogling at all the muscular dudes (swoon) in Singapore, I’m sadly out of touch with the grapevine (Shreya, of course was prattling on about a Certain Someone but we ARE talking humans here aren’t we?) and this column is dedicated solely to The Loony* who’s excruciatingly bugging company I’ve had to suffer (sob) throughout mah jaunt all over this extremely-sexy-and-magical city.
Assuming of course that this extremely dumb-witted person has gotten the hint, lets come back to good ol’ Singapura- with its awful Indian restaurants, really cute-and-animated 50 year old guides who teach you the Chinese word for ‘pig’, peering-at-your-reflection roads, comfy buses, babes wearing end-before-they-start shorts (guys slowly going green, huh?) and of course, Mustafa.
Once you manage to (unsuccessfully) scrub sand outta all the unwanted places (yeah now STOP sniggering!) Sentosa CAN be pretty fun (if you’re bottom’s NOT a really unpleasant shade of red) and you get to see gigantic, colossal, GARGANTUAN fishes with a couple of sharks thrown in (wink). Yup, and there ARE massive crabs which look like a cross between a cockroach and a spider (delectable yeah?) but for bravehearts like me, its all a breeze (shudder!)
The most-awesome-and-amazing thingy is the Birds of Prey show where this hunk gets out vultures and oh-so-evil looking birds to land plonk on your hand and you try to smile bravely and flash yellow teeth at the paparazzi bulbs.
The laser thingamajig is DEFINITELY not a geeky Losers’ Association for Sniveling Euw Retards or something- it makes 3D movies seem like tame cows to their magnificent lion. Wow!
Yawn! I’m kinda sleepy at the moment and since mah mums yelling in the background ever since an ENORMOUS lump of Hershey’s went missing (evil grin), I’ll call it quits for tonight. Ciao all!
*The Loony – a tall individual with a penchant for insulting 50 Cent and other rap legends by issuing indistinguishable sounds from braced teeth. They can usually be identified by a giant pimple on the cheek and constant tummy aches. Usually referred to as ‘it’ since the gender is unknown and are sought after by the male species for s****l recreation.
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